Today's Happenings (after hubby took the older 2 kiddos up to the lake...we'll join them tomorrow):
1) church - NJH screamed so much in the upstairs nursery during Sunday School time that he was "ejected" (LOL - not really; my pager went off after the workers spent a lot of time trying to calm him down...he wanted no part of it today!); during 2nd service, he did a lot better in the downstairs nursery (this may have had something to do with the man in the nursery juggling plastic fruit...very impressive!); Pastor Matt gave another powerful message - The Parable of the Sower (Matthew 13)...a new twist - rather than "go be good soil," ask God to "prepare the soil - soften us, ready us...we can't make ourselves better - we need to cry out to the One who can!" Great point, Pastor Matt!
2) cookout - after church, there was a cookout (lots of food purchased for, but not used, at the church camping trip, due to rain)...a very large turnout and tons of yummy chicken; I loved the time I spent with my church family!
3) nap time - what was supposed to be afternoon nap time for 2 kiddos...I tried to knit on the deck in the lovely sunshine, but kids didn't want to nap, which prompted the question: why do I give naps the power to influence my mood? Good nap time, I am happy and refreshed. Bad nap time, I am annoyed and cranky. Keep in mind, I don't take the naps! Interesting...
4) dancing - After non-nap time, I spent almost an hour dancing to a Veggie Tales CD upstairs with KBH and NJH. We had a ball!
5) pre-potty training - I put a pair of Thomas the Train undies on NJH, just to see what would happen. He thought he was hot stuff, and stayed dry for over an hour! I'm not ready to really go nuts with the potty training yet, but he will go on the potty from time to time.
6) snuggling - KBH, NJH and I watched an old Barney video together, all snuggled up on the couch. These are precious moments!
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Two for Today
1. I spent the majority of the day trying clothes on my girls today. I feel so blessed to have been given bins of hand-me-downs from friends. I cannot fathom what it would cost to buy these items brand new! It's quite the process: CAH tries on the items in her dresser and closet. Anything she has outgrown goes to KBH. (These items could just go in her drawers, but she likes to try everything on too!) KBH also has to try on everything in her closet/dresser and anything she outgrows goes in a bag to pass on to a friend. The part that cracks me up every time is how excited all the kids get when they see pajamas!!!! (Especially winter "sleepers" or "feety-pajamas"!!) It's adorable!! Something interesting I noticed about my girls today: KBH is so independent in trying on her clothes. She puts the clothes on by herself, takes them off, folds them and really doesn't want help. Her head is on the small side, and she easily pulls turtlenecks over her head. On the other hand, CAH (who is almost 17 months older than KBH) struggles to get the clothes on and off, likes to lay on the floor and have me help her. Her head is a bit larger and it takes effort for me to tug those turtlenecks on and off her!! So close in age, yet so different in personality and even body type. I love their differences!
2. After hours of the try-on/change over process, we headed over to a friend's house for a cookout/get together. We haven't done this in awhile, and it was SO nice to let the kids play while the adults chatted. I've missed my girlfriends and tonight reminded me to keep in touch more often.
2. After hours of the try-on/change over process, we headed over to a friend's house for a cookout/get together. We haven't done this in awhile, and it was SO nice to let the kids play while the adults chatted. I've missed my girlfriends and tonight reminded me to keep in touch more often.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Book Review: Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours, by Kevin Leman
Although the last book I read by the same author ("Have a New Kid by Friday") did not receive rave reviews from me, "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours" (MCMWLY) was actually quite a helpful book. Perhaps my attitude was different going into it: we had just spent three days having my in-laws visit, and our little darling children were anything but darlings!! It was a very humbling, stressful weekend, with outbursts, tantrums, and sassiness left and right! So when I cracked open MCMWLY, I was REALLY ready for help!!
"Reality Discipline" is the name of the technique or system of discipline: you want your children to learn to think for themselves and learn to become more responsible through guidance and action-oriented techniques. Five components of reality discipline:
"1) Parents never seek to punish; they always seek to discipline, train, and teach.
2) If 'punishment,' pain, or some kind of consequence is involved, the parent is not doing it or causing it - reality is.
3) Reality discipline is the best system I know to avoid inconsistent meandering between authoritarianism and permissiveness.
4) Reality discipline is the best system for teaching accountability and responsibility in a way that will stick.
5) Above all, reality discipline is your best bet for avoiding Super Parent Syndrome."
As Leman went on to name four pitfalls of "Super Parent Syndrome," I realized he had me pegged:
"1) I own my children.
2) I am judge and jury.
3) My children can't fail.
4) I am boss - what I say goes."
Wait, you mean that isn't right? I know, I know, our children are "on loan" from God, I get that. But I don't want my children to fail!! And I'm parenting Biblically when I tell my children I'm in charge, right? Well, not really...you see, in all of my good-intentioned, controlling ways, I have been teaching my children to be 100% dependent on me. I have not taught them to think for themselves. I have, instead, made all their decisions for them, granted them little freedom (in the name of order, control and safety), and made myself crazy trying to run and control every aspect of our household!
Leman cited an example of a "Super Parent" named Michelle, "a perfectionist thirty-four year old mother who had three daughters...their color-coordinated outfits could be seen from more than a block away. Michelle even ironed the bacon for breakfast to be sure it was flat and 'neat-looking'...she was a thoroughly exhausted woman - physically and emotionally...the idiocy went on day in and day out and finally Michelle started to crack. Her family was a circus and she was trying to be ringmaster." This could be me!!! "While Michelle believed that she was giving her family love...she was not achieving her goals at all. By making so many decisions for her children and by constantly 'doing for them,' she actually hampered their development into responsible persons who could make their own decisions and learn accountability to others and ultimately to God." Wow - I don't want to be like that!
This book really helped me to stop and think. I saw myself, and my parenting style, in a new light - one that didn't look very helpful. I have already made several changes in how I speak to my children and have been quite pleased with the results. Although I won't be able to change overnight, I am thankful for some new ideas to implement as I seek to train my children, guide them, and then set them free.
"Reality Discipline" is the name of the technique or system of discipline: you want your children to learn to think for themselves and learn to become more responsible through guidance and action-oriented techniques. Five components of reality discipline:
"1) Parents never seek to punish; they always seek to discipline, train, and teach.
2) If 'punishment,' pain, or some kind of consequence is involved, the parent is not doing it or causing it - reality is.
3) Reality discipline is the best system I know to avoid inconsistent meandering between authoritarianism and permissiveness.
4) Reality discipline is the best system for teaching accountability and responsibility in a way that will stick.
5) Above all, reality discipline is your best bet for avoiding Super Parent Syndrome."
As Leman went on to name four pitfalls of "Super Parent Syndrome," I realized he had me pegged:
"1) I own my children.
2) I am judge and jury.
3) My children can't fail.
4) I am boss - what I say goes."
Wait, you mean that isn't right? I know, I know, our children are "on loan" from God, I get that. But I don't want my children to fail!! And I'm parenting Biblically when I tell my children I'm in charge, right? Well, not really...you see, in all of my good-intentioned, controlling ways, I have been teaching my children to be 100% dependent on me. I have not taught them to think for themselves. I have, instead, made all their decisions for them, granted them little freedom (in the name of order, control and safety), and made myself crazy trying to run and control every aspect of our household!
Leman cited an example of a "Super Parent" named Michelle, "a perfectionist thirty-four year old mother who had three daughters...their color-coordinated outfits could be seen from more than a block away. Michelle even ironed the bacon for breakfast to be sure it was flat and 'neat-looking'...she was a thoroughly exhausted woman - physically and emotionally...the idiocy went on day in and day out and finally Michelle started to crack. Her family was a circus and she was trying to be ringmaster." This could be me!!! "While Michelle believed that she was giving her family love...she was not achieving her goals at all. By making so many decisions for her children and by constantly 'doing for them,' she actually hampered their development into responsible persons who could make their own decisions and learn accountability to others and ultimately to God." Wow - I don't want to be like that!
This book really helped me to stop and think. I saw myself, and my parenting style, in a new light - one that didn't look very helpful. I have already made several changes in how I speak to my children and have been quite pleased with the results. Although I won't be able to change overnight, I am thankful for some new ideas to implement as I seek to train my children, guide them, and then set them free.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Meal-Planning from the Shelves and Freezer
When I finally entered the enormous pile of receipts (for the entire month of August) into Quicken, I was shocked and horrified to realized we had already spent the next 15 days' worth of grocery money!! My heart pounded, I felt nauseous, and I began to sweat. [Now, on a side note, we incorporate diapers/wipes/pullups as well as "dining" receipts (including Stewarts runs and Dunkin Donuts) into the large "grocery" category. Our grocery store receipts are usually kept within the budget; it's the little stops here and there that add up, ($200 extra one time!!)]
Anyway, when I realized we now have $0 to spend on groceries until September 15th, I ran to the freezer and cupboards and was relieved to find I could pull a few meals together. Next, I took out my trusty meal-planning calendar and started listing my meals. Guess what? I did it! I was able to come up with enough off-the-shelf meals to get us to next pay day! It's true, we may need to stop for milk and a little bit of fresh fruit (but no mint cookie crumble spooner pints from Stewarts!) Here's what I've planned:
Chicken Nuggets/Raw Veggies Slices/Dipping Sauce
Grilled Chicken Salad
Stuffed Peppers
Pancakes/Fruit/Sausage
Tilapia in Ginger Sauce/Rice/Veggies
Spaghetti & Sauce
Turkey Meatloaf/Potatoes/Veggies
Oven Stuffer Chicken/Rice or Potatoes/Veggies
Hot Chicken Sandwiches/Stuffing/Veggies
Homemade Pizza
Waffles/Fruit/Sausage
Chicken Noodle Soup/Biscuits
Egg/Broccoli/Bacon Casserole/Applesauce
Anyway, when I realized we now have $0 to spend on groceries until September 15th, I ran to the freezer and cupboards and was relieved to find I could pull a few meals together. Next, I took out my trusty meal-planning calendar and started listing my meals. Guess what? I did it! I was able to come up with enough off-the-shelf meals to get us to next pay day! It's true, we may need to stop for milk and a little bit of fresh fruit (but no mint cookie crumble spooner pints from Stewarts!) Here's what I've planned:
Chicken Nuggets/Raw Veggies Slices/Dipping Sauce
Grilled Chicken Salad
Stuffed Peppers
Pancakes/Fruit/Sausage
Tilapia in Ginger Sauce/Rice/Veggies
Spaghetti & Sauce
Turkey Meatloaf/Potatoes/Veggies
Oven Stuffer Chicken/Rice or Potatoes/Veggies
Hot Chicken Sandwiches/Stuffing/Veggies
Homemade Pizza
Waffles/Fruit/Sausage
Chicken Noodle Soup/Biscuits
Egg/Broccoli/Bacon Casserole/Applesauce
Sunday, August 30, 2009
4 Fun Things
After yesterday's very dreary rainy day (complete with naughty children!!), it was wonderful to see the sun shining today! Here are some fun things that happened today:
1) NJH moved into a booster seat at dinner time. He loved it and ate his left-over taco salad (with extra salsa) like a champ!
2) When dinner was over, I was clearing off the plates. Suddenly I heard the sweetest little voice say, "May I get down please, Mama?" It was my little sweetheart, not even two years old yet, with such nice manners!! I melted, of course.
3) NCH and I went to the library this afternoon to get him a new stack of books to read. I'm thrilled that he is reading so much! This was the most interested I've seen him in selecting his own books. We have quite the variety - from the Box Car Children to the Bailey School Kids to Magic Tree House and Magic School Bus, even our first Hardy Boys book!
4) Hubby and I were relaxing on the deck. Hubby was trying different ring tones for his iPhone. One of the tunes was the Chicken Dance...next thing you know, CAH, KBH and NJH were flapping their "wings" and dancing all over the deck! It was so adorable. During a "fairy" ring tone, CAH put a towel on her shoulders and pretended they were wings so she could fly around like Tinkerbell. I love these moments!!!
1) NJH moved into a booster seat at dinner time. He loved it and ate his left-over taco salad (with extra salsa) like a champ!
2) When dinner was over, I was clearing off the plates. Suddenly I heard the sweetest little voice say, "May I get down please, Mama?" It was my little sweetheart, not even two years old yet, with such nice manners!! I melted, of course.
3) NCH and I went to the library this afternoon to get him a new stack of books to read. I'm thrilled that he is reading so much! This was the most interested I've seen him in selecting his own books. We have quite the variety - from the Box Car Children to the Bailey School Kids to Magic Tree House and Magic School Bus, even our first Hardy Boys book!
4) Hubby and I were relaxing on the deck. Hubby was trying different ring tones for his iPhone. One of the tunes was the Chicken Dance...next thing you know, CAH, KBH and NJH were flapping their "wings" and dancing all over the deck! It was so adorable. During a "fairy" ring tone, CAH put a towel on her shoulders and pretended they were wings so she could fly around like Tinkerbell. I love these moments!!!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
What The Herd is Up To (8/13/09)
I just found this file in "My Documents"...I can't believe I never posted it when I wrote it!! Chances are, I was interrupted (as usual!) It's a few weeks delayed, but here's what the herd was up to on August 13th:
NCH - helping with chores; will vacuum, dust, clean bathrooms; 1 minute of cleaning = 1 minute of computer/video game time (new incentive...working great so far...3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms are tidy!!); reading skills have improved dramatically; still isn't happy when I ask him to do a book report (written) but doesn't mind answering the questions verbally; anger issues have improved, but we still see outbursts from time to time; hoping 2nd grade is a great year!!
CAH - really into building houses for her stuffed animals; creatively using shoeboxes, diaper boxes, etc. with doors and windows, even writing to label "puppies"; also enjoying new birthday toys (color change Ariel, puppy with carrier); plays very well independently and with her sister; wants to be with older brother and at times, they do well together, but only when he is open to the idea; she has a "pleaser" personality but sadly that has led to lying/dishonesty...we're working on this; can't believe she's off to kindergarten in a month!
KBH - still requests "movies" often; favorites right now include Wiggles, Barney, Caillou, Blue's Clues (thankful we can borrow them from the library for free!); enjoys playing with her sister; yesterday and today, I came upon her singing in the sweetest voice "Under the Sea" while playing with Ariel doll; still likes a schedule, wants to know if it's bath night, wants her clothes laid out (would prefer to select them herself, but she does not have that freedom yet!); runs hot and cold - can be such a little doll, but can turn around and say "mommy is a poopie head" and stick her tongue out; definitely can be trying! Hopefully preschool will be a good thing for her. She is also signed up for gymnastics once a week.
NJH - coming into the 2's...starting to say "no" and run the opposite direction when called; especially detests sitting in high chair/climbs out no matter how tight the straps are; also can get arms out of car seat straps; loves cars, trucks and motorcycles; tries to copy the big kids; loves to sing; enjoys Blue's Clues and Miss Pattycake videos; wants to be in the pool area but is reluctant to be in the water; has a piercingly shrill cry, but gets over it quickly; can count from 1-11; knows to fold his hands and bow his head when we say "pray" (also says "amen" at the end); has a cute lisp (pleathe for please); using manners regularly; many 3-4 word sentences; will attempt to copy any word/phrase; has the greatest laugh!
NCH - helping with chores; will vacuum, dust, clean bathrooms; 1 minute of cleaning = 1 minute of computer/video game time (new incentive...working great so far...3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms are tidy!!); reading skills have improved dramatically; still isn't happy when I ask him to do a book report (written) but doesn't mind answering the questions verbally; anger issues have improved, but we still see outbursts from time to time; hoping 2nd grade is a great year!!
CAH - really into building houses for her stuffed animals; creatively using shoeboxes, diaper boxes, etc. with doors and windows, even writing to label "puppies"; also enjoying new birthday toys (color change Ariel, puppy with carrier); plays very well independently and with her sister; wants to be with older brother and at times, they do well together, but only when he is open to the idea; she has a "pleaser" personality but sadly that has led to lying/dishonesty...we're working on this; can't believe she's off to kindergarten in a month!
KBH - still requests "movies" often; favorites right now include Wiggles, Barney, Caillou, Blue's Clues (thankful we can borrow them from the library for free!); enjoys playing with her sister; yesterday and today, I came upon her singing in the sweetest voice "Under the Sea" while playing with Ariel doll; still likes a schedule, wants to know if it's bath night, wants her clothes laid out (would prefer to select them herself, but she does not have that freedom yet!); runs hot and cold - can be such a little doll, but can turn around and say "mommy is a poopie head" and stick her tongue out; definitely can be trying! Hopefully preschool will be a good thing for her. She is also signed up for gymnastics once a week.
NJH - coming into the 2's...starting to say "no" and run the opposite direction when called; especially detests sitting in high chair/climbs out no matter how tight the straps are; also can get arms out of car seat straps; loves cars, trucks and motorcycles; tries to copy the big kids; loves to sing; enjoys Blue's Clues and Miss Pattycake videos; wants to be in the pool area but is reluctant to be in the water; has a piercingly shrill cry, but gets over it quickly; can count from 1-11; knows to fold his hands and bow his head when we say "pray" (also says "amen" at the end); has a cute lisp (pleathe for please); using manners regularly; many 3-4 word sentences; will attempt to copy any word/phrase; has the greatest laugh!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Slacking
Yes, I've really been slacking when it comes to the whole blogging thing! But I have excuses:
1) It's been a busy summer - the kids just finished swim lessons. I'm so proud of them! NCH had to swim 500m of various consecutive strokes, using the proper flip turns, etc. CAH has mastered her dive and swims a beautiful backstroke. KBH held her own, taking lessons with 5 and 6 year olds (and we later realized she was put one level above where she should have been! Ooops!) She does a lovely kneeling dive and just today, she mastered front and back somersaults underwater! I keep reminding myself "she's only 3!" NCH also just finished swim team and he received a trophy, a t-shirt and swim bag for his efforts. His final meet was very exciting and he was really getting "into it."
Here are photos of NCH at his last meet:
Photos of KBH drying off and about to jump off the diving board:
2) I've been busy knitting - 2 projects. The first was a sweater for NJH, hopefully it will fit him this fall/winter. It used a cool variegated yarn that knit into a fair isle pattern. The second is a long cabled cardigan for me. I've finished the back and I'm about half way through with the left side. This is quite an extensive undertaking, as there are tons of cables, but I'm enjoying it (except on boiling hot days when I'm knitting on the deck!) Poor NJH really didn't like trying on his new sweater!!
3) I've been busy reading - I'm (still) on Book 10 of Tim LaHaye's "Left Behind" series. Just two books left of this fantastic prophecy/end times-themed series. My Tuesday Bible study will be going through the book of Revelation this fall...I can't wait!
4) I've been busy planning meals, running 5K's and trying to follow a healthier lifestyle. With all of the recent parties, picnics and celebrations, I decided it was time for a new round of South Beach. So far, so cranky, but that will fade when I see results! I am also revisiting Couch to 5K and kicking it up a notch, sprinting where it tells you to jog and jogging where it tells you to walk. I REALLY want to improve my 5K time!
5) We just celebrated CAH's 5th birthday. I can't believe my little sweetheart is already 5 and heading off to kindergarten next month! I have already blogged about her birth story, so I'll just mention that her party this year was just for "big girls" and was a Tinkerbell theme. We used glitter glue on coloring pages, strung fruit loops and gummy life savers to make necklaces, made glittery stars for "Pin the Star on the Wand", made fruit kabobs with watermelon, pineapple, green grapes, red grapes and strawberries, ate "fairy horns" (Bugles snacks), had punch, played pass the fairy wand, played follow the fairy leader, and had cupcakes and ice cream. At the end, some children stayed to swim. Although we had to move the party indoors last minute, it was a lot of fun, the girls were well-behaved and seemed to love the activities, and the weather cleared enough for them to swim at the end.
6) Hubby and the older two enjoyed a trip out to see hubby's parents, so I enjoyed having just two little ones underfoot...we had lots of fun, and here's a photo of KBH and NJH getting ready to go to church:
7) There's plenty more to say, but I'd better get to bed or I'll be one tired and grumpy mama in the morning...
1) It's been a busy summer - the kids just finished swim lessons. I'm so proud of them! NCH had to swim 500m of various consecutive strokes, using the proper flip turns, etc. CAH has mastered her dive and swims a beautiful backstroke. KBH held her own, taking lessons with 5 and 6 year olds (and we later realized she was put one level above where she should have been! Ooops!) She does a lovely kneeling dive and just today, she mastered front and back somersaults underwater! I keep reminding myself "she's only 3!" NCH also just finished swim team and he received a trophy, a t-shirt and swim bag for his efforts. His final meet was very exciting and he was really getting "into it."
Here are photos of NCH at his last meet:
Photos of KBH drying off and about to jump off the diving board:
2) I've been busy knitting - 2 projects. The first was a sweater for NJH, hopefully it will fit him this fall/winter. It used a cool variegated yarn that knit into a fair isle pattern. The second is a long cabled cardigan for me. I've finished the back and I'm about half way through with the left side. This is quite an extensive undertaking, as there are tons of cables, but I'm enjoying it (except on boiling hot days when I'm knitting on the deck!) Poor NJH really didn't like trying on his new sweater!!
3) I've been busy reading - I'm (still) on Book 10 of Tim LaHaye's "Left Behind" series. Just two books left of this fantastic prophecy/end times-themed series. My Tuesday Bible study will be going through the book of Revelation this fall...I can't wait!
4) I've been busy planning meals, running 5K's and trying to follow a healthier lifestyle. With all of the recent parties, picnics and celebrations, I decided it was time for a new round of South Beach. So far, so cranky, but that will fade when I see results! I am also revisiting Couch to 5K and kicking it up a notch, sprinting where it tells you to jog and jogging where it tells you to walk. I REALLY want to improve my 5K time!
5) We just celebrated CAH's 5th birthday. I can't believe my little sweetheart is already 5 and heading off to kindergarten next month! I have already blogged about her birth story, so I'll just mention that her party this year was just for "big girls" and was a Tinkerbell theme. We used glitter glue on coloring pages, strung fruit loops and gummy life savers to make necklaces, made glittery stars for "Pin the Star on the Wand", made fruit kabobs with watermelon, pineapple, green grapes, red grapes and strawberries, ate "fairy horns" (Bugles snacks), had punch, played pass the fairy wand, played follow the fairy leader, and had cupcakes and ice cream. At the end, some children stayed to swim. Although we had to move the party indoors last minute, it was a lot of fun, the girls were well-behaved and seemed to love the activities, and the weather cleared enough for them to swim at the end.
6) Hubby and the older two enjoyed a trip out to see hubby's parents, so I enjoyed having just two little ones underfoot...we had lots of fun, and here's a photo of KBH and NJH getting ready to go to church:
7) There's plenty more to say, but I'd better get to bed or I'll be one tired and grumpy mama in the morning...
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