Conflicted

I have such inner conflict going on right now.
A huge part of me absolutely loved the royal wedding and all of its splendor last week.
Seeing pictures of Buckingham Palace triggered special memories of a trip I took to England with my "Gram" back in 1982.
A small part of me thought that the money spent on the grand wedding could have gone to help many hurting people in need.
I was truly saddened to hear of the many lives lost in southern United States due to tornadoes and terrible storms.
I was so happy to visit my grandparents over the weekend, but I was sad knowing they are packing and getting ready to sell their house, the house I have known as their home since I was born!
I was shocked to hear about a sorority sister's sudden and tragic death on Sunday. Many alumni had gathered for a wonderful reunion weekend and it ended in such heartbreak.
And then to top it all off, I heard the late news last night - Osama (now spelled Usama??) Bin Ladin had been found and killed by our military.
The strangest thing began to happen - I thought I would feel thrilled, elated, overjoyed, but I felt a odd pang of sadness.
Memories of 9/11 came flooding back, which I thought would have made the terrorist ringleader's demise all the more triumphant, but the more I saw pictures of Americans wildly cheering and partying in the streets, but sadder I felt.
Anyone who knows me knows where I stand politically: very much to the right! I come from a long line of conservative Republicans, huge fans of Ronald Reagan, always IN FAVOR of a strong military, AGAINST unnecessary regulation and thousands of social programs. I am grateful, beyond words, to our brave and dedicated military!! They are true heroes. I am also thankful to their family members who sacrifice tremendously as well.
It just feels wrong to be so HAPPY at the news of someone's death, no matter how much evil he has done.
I am also feeling a little sick because I see the people of America looking, yet again, to put their hope in something/someone who can never fulfill their needs. There is only One who can satisfy all of our needs, who can heal the brokenhearted, who can bring true peace.
Rather than cheer or rant, rather than fight and debate, I will pray that those who are so desperately seeking will find the One, the Beginning and the End, the Way, the Truth and the Life, Jesus Christ, God's own Son, Savior of the world.