My One Word/One Little Word for 2016: Transform

I cannot believe it's been a year since I wrote a blog post! Can you say BUSY? Yes, I guess life has become rather hectic with schedules and activities for four children, in addition to my jumping back into the world of speech-language pathology after thirteen years.

As I mentioned last year, I started choosing a Word of the Year in 2014, after finding lists of resolutions to come up pretty empty year after year. I do like a fresh start...is there anything more lovely than a blank new calendar? And I am a very goal-oriented person, but let's be honest, as a mom of four busy children, my goals are focused more on my children/family than on personal goals. With the one word of the year, I found it easier to incorporate that thought or idea into my life overall. 2014's word was PRESENT. I worked hard to be PRESENT with my children, to not over-commit to everything under the sun, but to be deliberate with my time, to be purposeful with my energies. I would call it a great success...my word did not consume or stress me. It gently reminded me to focus and plug in to what I valued.

My Word of the Year for 2015 was KIND. I had felt like I was often telling my children to be KIND, to respect one another, to get along. KIND ended up being a wonderful word for us. Are we always KIND? No, but thinking about being KIND, seeing the word KIND on the chalkboard near our dinner table, and being purposeful about KINDness helped the overall tone of our home and our relationships. Also, thinking before speaking, "is this KIND?" helped filter our speech.

My Word of the Year for 2016, after much deliberation, is TRANSFORM. I hemmed and hawed for weeks, vacillating between "change" and "TRANSFORM." My children commented, "Aren't they the same thing, though?" and as I pondered,  I realized that no, they are not exactly the same. Change can happen quickly or slowly, but TRANSFORM conjures more of a process.

So why on earth did I pick this word? Several key reasons come to mind:
            1) We are always TRANSFORMING...kids are growing and, much as we resist it, our bodies are TRANSFORMING - aging every day. In our family, September of 2016 will see our first child head off to the big high school! I am seeing TRANSFORMATIONS with my work, as I take on more speech therapy clients, juggle my Etsy Shop, my Mary Kay business, as well as my roles as wife and mother.
            2) I am hoping to TRANSFORM my body back into the shape/condition it was in 2013 when I turned 40. Back then, I was dedicated to eating healthy, whole food. In addition, I was committed to intense workout plans. The hard work paid off, and I was in the best shape of my life as my husband and I headed off on a cruise in June 2013. So far this year, I am starting my TRANSFORMATION by eliminating grains, dairy, sugary junk and as much processed junk as possible. I have also begun 20 weeks of TurboFire, an at-home workout program that I LOVE! Stay tuned for a (hopeful) TRANSFORMATION story in a few months.
            3)  We have had a lot of changes at our church recently, including a new name, and although I tend to prefer consistency and sameness, I also see the need for TRANSFORMATION. Our new name should eliminate various barriers for guests. We have some members moving away, one pastor leaving to plant a church, church-wide life groups beginning, and a number of other TRANSFORMATIONS. I can sit alone and be upset, resisting TRANSFORMATION, or I can see that God can use all of this for something wonderful.
            4) Romans 12:2-3 says, "Do not be conformed to this world, but be TRANSFORMED by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect." How awesome is that? Psalm 51:10 says, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." How we need clean hearts! And 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." What better TRANSFORMATION could there ever be?! 

What do I expect or hope for as I focus on the word/idea of TRANSFORM in 2016? That, with God's help and grace, I will be TRANSFORMED mentally and spiritually by His Word and teaching, that with His strength, I will TRANSFORM physically, that with HIS love and guidance, our family will TRANSFORM into new seasons together. 
Resting in this comforting knowledge: "I am the Lord, I change not." - Malachi 3:6

My One Word for 2015: KIND

I started choosing a Word of the Year last year, after finding lists of resolutions to come up pretty empty year after year. I do like a fresh start...is there anything more lovely than a blank new calendar? And I am a very goal-oriented person, but let's be honest, as a mom of four busy children, my goals are focused more on my children/family than on personal goals. With the one word of the year, I found it easier to incorporate that thought or idea into my life overall. Last year's word was PRESENT. I worked hard to be PRESENT with my children, to not over-commit to everything under the sun, but to be deliberate with my time, to be purposeful with my energies. I would call it a great success...my word did not consume or stress me. It gently reminded me to focus and plug in to what I valued.

Partway through 2014, I announced that our local Mom's group theme would be JOY and did I ever have fun finding, seeing and basking in JOY! Of all of the nine fruits of the spirit, I would say JOY comes to me most easily. In less favorable situations, where I am becoming a real Negative Nelly, all I have to do is think about the JOY, name the blessings, and my entire attitude shifts and Positive Polly is back. I believe JOY is contagious...so share it! Discontentment robs us of JOY...so be content! If I had to choose one word for the rest of my life, it would surely be JOY.

So here we are ringing in a new year. Many are eager to get started and leave 2014 in the past. Honestly, I had an incredible year. I am thankful for each day and I have a full heart of wonderful memories. I did not walk a path of suffering or pain. I did not bury a child, spouse or parent.  I pray that I can find a shred of JOY, WHEN (not IF) that day comes. But in the meantime, I will savor this sweet time in my life. I will make memories of the mundane. I will find JOY in the ordinary.

My Word of the Year for 2015 is KIND. I feel like I am often telling my children to be KIND, to respect one another, to get along. When I began to think about my word for this year, it became abundantly clear that we all, my children, myself, society, we all could be more KIND to one another. 

How will this look in my home? With my children, I will talk often about showing KINDness to one another, to parents, siblings, friends. KINDness goes deeper than nice. It encompasses more than respect. To be truly KIND means you are thinking about another person's feelings, you are aware of another's needs, you are seeing the world from another's point of view. Instead of saying, "Stop bothering your sister," I will try to have that child see that what he is doing is unKIND to his sister, explain how that is so, and to impart that other-centered view. 

How will this look in me? I will try to stop my terrible tongue from wagging. I will make a conscious effort to speak words of KINDness to and about others. Snobby Mommy land is full of unKINDness and judge-y-pants attitudes and comments. I want that to stop! Moms do not need more judgement, condemnation and guilt, but KINDness, support and empathy. I want to come up alongside a struggling mom of a tantruming toddler and help her, not shake my head in judgement of her. When my cart is full to the top at Aldi and a gentleman behind me has three items, I want to show KINDness and let him go ahead of me. I pray that God will give me eyes of KINDness and will give opportunities for me to show, not just tell, my children KINDness and how to be KIND.

How do I hope this ripples out into the world? I think KINDness, like JOY, is contagious. Kids all over the country are performing random acts of KINDness and I think it is wonderful! Let's all be mindful of our words, thoughts and attitudes...if we make that choice to be KIND, perhaps the KINDness will be passed on...and on...and on.

Ephesians 4:32 "Be KIND and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
Galatians 5:22-23 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, KINDness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O man, what is good and what the Lord requires of you; to do justly and to love KINDness and to walk humbly with your God."

Reflections...from stressed to blessed!

Summer is over (okay, so it's not technically over until September 23rd, but it feels like it's over when the kids go back to school!) Did it seem to go by a bit faster than usual this year? I feel like I was just cleaning out the lunch bags and sorting through end of the year paperwork, yet here I am labeling items and double-checking back packs! I should be getting into bed, setting my alarm and preparing for a whole new round of the morning whirlwind, but who am I kidding? I never sleep well the night before school starts. I'm too busy worrying, wondering and praying.

Worrying...will it be a good year? Will the bus come on time? Will the kids find their classrooms? Will they find their friends? Will their teachers like them? Will their lunches and snacks fill them? Will they have fun? Will they find the right bus home? Will the bus find our house?

Wondering..did they have a good summer? Did they have fun? What will they remember? Did I do enough with them? Did they make lasting memories? Did I miss anything? Do I regret anything?

Praying...God please protect them, please help their teachers, please keep them all safe, please let them grow this year (but not too much!), please let them make just one good friend, please remind them that You are always with them, please help them to know they are loved!

Why does mommy-guilt continue to consume me? When I stop and think about it, we DID have fun this summer. We DID make memories. I didn't miss a thing! I had the joy of watching my kids swim, both playing in the pool and swimming fast in swim meets. Yes, it was loud and busy and messy around here, but we had a good time. From ice pops and ice cream sandwiches and ice cream cones galore to swimming in our pool, the swim team pool and the lake, from riding on bikes to four-wheelers to boats and tubes and canoes, waterskiing, camping, movies, playdates, campfires, smores, VBS, a trip to Colorado for the oldest, pedicures for the girls, go kart races for two, lots of time with cousins and family...we had a blast!

As I begin to count my blessings, things become more clear: what a blessing it was to be with my babies all summer. They are growing up so fast, but I've been a part of every step along the way.

When I asked the kids tonight what their favorite summer memory of 2014 was, they said: time with cousins, camping, riding bikes, and swim team.

Instead of fretting before I fall asleep, I will be thankful for a great summer with my family.

Angry Moms: Time to Get Real

For Mom2Mom speech presented 1/16/14; written 1/4/14

Backstory –

This particular topic has been on my mind quite some time. While planning out our Mom2Mom year with my sidekick M back in the summer, I knew this was a topic that needed to be addressed. My “plan” at that time was to go through a detailed history of all of my personal issues with anger, a list of references including the library of books I have on this topic, etc. But God evidently wanted me to alter my plan, as you will soon see…

Intro –

I have felt the Holy Spirit nudging me to speak on the topic of Angry Moms for awhile now. As I pondered my “speech” over the last couple of months, I found that there is so much more than just an angry mom in the spotlight. She’s not “just angry.” She’s tired, worn-out, weary, at the end of her rope, helpless, jealous, discontent, bitter, envious, neglected, proud, self-centered, insecure, clueless, lacking confidence, out of control, powerless, spiteful, hateful, shameful, ashamed, broken, desperate, in need of a savior.

Caveat –

Before we move forward, please let it be clear: that Savior is not and can never be her child, her husband, her house, her car, her body, her clothes, her diet, her stuff, her collections, her checklists, her goals, her accomplishments, her friends, her church, her TV shows, her books, her self-help guru, her moms group. Only Jesus can fill that empty place. Only Jesus can love unconditionally, with mercy and grace, knowing EVERY UGLY SECRET – the deepest parts – and still, He loves us.

Why Saying “lean on Jesus” isn’t always enough –

So what about angry moms? Just lean on Jesus and we’ll be all better? How I wish it were that simple! For some, maybe it is. But not for me. I was saved when I was four years old, but oh have I been angry a few times since then?!! An ugly, raging temper that rears its ugly head time and time again, despite my best efforts to stuff it away, despite my happy church face and my children with clean faces and pretty clothes. It’s time to get real, girls! We all stink! Those plastic facades are just another step we take that makes us exhausted and leaves us feeling inadequate and unfulfilled. Let’s get off the crazy fake cycle, ok? Let’s be honest now and admit we don’t have it all together all the time.

Why so angry?

So what are we to do about it? I think we need to first figure out WHY? Why the anger? Where is it coming from? I listed several sources earlier.

1.       Exhaustion. Being a mom is HARD! A mom of a newborn often means sleep deprivation. (I’m certainly not at my best when I am tired.)

2.       Loneliness. We may feel lonely – at 3 am, feeding a screaming baby, while the rest of the world (and likely our husband) sleeps, we may feel lonely and even resentful.

3.       Jealousy. How about jealousy? I remember coming home from playdates FURIOUS because my furniture or faucet or rugs were no longer “good enough.” My friends didn’t necessarily say so, but I felt jealous of their nice new “stuff,” became discontent which turned to bitterness and anger. We can be jealous over “stuff” or over a talent someone else has. Or how about that friend with the “kind and helpful husband.” Boy, did I put some serious strain on my marriage when I whined to my husband that he didn’t offer to do bath time like so and so’s husband did. (Sad truth: if he had offered, I would have criticized the way he did bath time!)

4.       Expectations. One major trigger for me is expectations! I spent a year in marriage counseling back in 2006. I learned that my expectations of others were extremely high, and my expectations of myself were actually unattainable.

5.       Perfection/Control. The word “perfect” has been all but eliminated from my vocabulary since it caused such angst for me. Did you know that only God is perfect? True perfection is something we can look forward to in heaven. The song “Free to Be Me” by Francesca Battistelli has a line that always jumps out at me: “Try to fit the pieces together BUT PERFECTION IS MY ENEMY.” The new song, “Let It Go” from the movie “Frozen” brought me to tears when I heard it. I sure have a lot to learn to let go of! “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see, be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know, well now they know…let it go, let it go, can’t hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go, and I’ll rise like the break of dawn. Let it go, let it go, that perfect girl is gone!” Another song, “Perfect People” by Natalie Grant really strikes a chord with me – can you relate? (Will try to link video here.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7D-ONj8PO8  Lyrics below.)

“Perfect People” by Natalie Grant

Never let 'em see you when you're breaking

Never let 'em see you when you fall

That's how we live and that's how we try

Tell the world you've got it all together

Never let them see what's underneath

Cover it up with a crooked smile

But it only lasts for a little while

[CHORUS:]

There's no such thing as perfect people

There's no such thing as a perfect life

So come as you are, broken and scarred

Lift up your heart and be amazed

And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted

When you hear the words that you are loved

He knows where you are and where you've been

And you never have to go there again

[CHORUS]

Who lived and died to give new life

To heal our imperfections

So look up and see out let grace be enough

[CHORUS]

By a perfect God [5x]

Be changed by a perfect God

Be changed

Exhaustion, loneliness, jealousy, discontentment, expectations, perfection/control – all of this can lead to some really angry times.

Dealing with the issues –

1.       Exhaustion: Some of this, we just have to “get through the phase,” like the newborn stage or sickness. This will pass. BUT – it’s ok to ask for help! It’s ok to say, “I really need two straight hours of sleep – can someone come hold my baby please?!”

2.       Loneliness: Stop waiting for someone to call, YOU be the one to reach out! The fastest way to get over yourself is to serve someone else. Ask someone over for coffee, meet at the park, text, email, call. That person you reach out to may be feeling even lonelier than you!

3.       Jealousy and Discontentment: Truly, I stopped looking at ads and catalogs and magazines and flyers. I avoided malls. I found friends who were in similar financial situations as mine. I put my eyes back in my own space and became a better homemaker, finding joy in cleaning the space I was BLESSED with, cooking for the family I had PRAYED FOR. I literally counted my blessings and turned my complaints and my rotten attitude into gratitude. (You may see my Negative Nelly/Positive Polly posts on Facebook, for example: it’s pouring rain and I have all four kids bickering in the van with me and we have to go to the orthodontist. Boo. Poor me! Let’s turn this around – I am able to drive a car, I have a car, we’re not waiting for a cab, I have four healthy children that I desperately wanted and prayed for, we’re going to an elective appointment not something awful like a surgery or chemo, we have insurance and can afford the orthodontic appliance, and the list goes on.) That doesn’t mean I get fake: I acknowledge the hurt, complaint, frustration. Then I pray that God would show me the good things, the blessings, and HE HAS NEVER FAILED!

4&5. Expectations/Perfection/Control: Here is what I say to myself – God loves me. He is in control. He is sovereign. Only He is perfect. It’s ok to have high expectations, but it’s important to show grace to others – and to ourselves. These verses are particularly helpful to me:

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.

I also focus on the Fruit of the Spirit: love, peace, joy, patience, gentleness, self-control, goodness, faithfulness, kindness.

Strength in our weakness

I used to be embarrassed when people would quote from the Bible about a mother’s gentleness – I was not gentle much of the time!

I Thessalonians 2:7 “We were gentle among you like a nursing mother.”

I Peter 3:4 “…the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.”

  Then I realized that it’s ok that I am not perfect – when I am weak in my flesh, God is strong. Faking it isn’t the answer; acknowledging our imperfections and flaws, laying them bare before God and asking for His supernatural grace and strength and healing is how we not simply endure, but grow…bloom…flourish…in Him! THEN, He will continue to use our trials to draw others to Him, as I pray is happening now as I share my story. May YOU see HIS power, HIS love, and HIS grace…it’s for YOU too!

To God be all the glory.

Verses that talk about God’s Perfection:

James 1:17 Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.

Psalm 18:30 God’s way is perfect. All the LORD’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.

Isaiah 25:1 LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done wonderful things, things planned long ago.

Take Heart! There is hope…

2 Corinthians 12:9  My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness. So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

Word Of The Year

This is my first time naming my “Word of the Year.” I have seen other friends post on blogs or Facebook their “word.” I have seen words like hope, dream, believe, strong, brave, and dare. I have thought long and hard about my word for 2014. After much deliberation, I have decided on the word: PRESENT.

Google tells me PRESENT can mean several different things. PRESENT can be pronounced two different ways and can be a verb, a noun, or an adjective. Its meanings include: (of a person) in a particular place, existing or occurring now, the period of time now occurring, give something to (someone) formally or ceremonially, bring about or be the cause of (a problem or difficulty), hold out or aim (a firearm) at something so as to be ready to fire, or a thing given to someone as a gift.

What do I mean when I say my word of the year is PRESENT?

I mean I want to BE PRESENT.

I want to be plugged in, aware, involved.

I want to be PRESENT with God,

PRESENT with my husband,

PRESENT in the lives of my children,

PRESENT at church,

PRESENT at school,

PRESENT in my community.

That doesn’t mean I want to be busy. Scurrying around, overscheduled, frantic busy. Rather, I want to be selective in my involvement. Purposeful with my time, my words, my actions. I want to make memories. I want to treasure special times in my heart. I want to notice the little things as my children learn and grow. I know there are many things and people that compete for my PRESENCE, and I know that it will be difficult to be PRESENT at some events and say no to others. I am leaning on the Lord to help me be discerning as I prioritize and become intentional in the ways I am PRESENT.

I am eager to begin 2014 thinking about being PRESENT and I have confidence that God will blow my mind with the way He uses circumstances to show me He is sovereign. I am grateful beyond words for His greatest PRESENT, His Son who saved my life. I look forward to the day I will dwell in His holy PRESENCE for eternity.

It's Been Awhile

Goodness it sure has been awhile since I've dusted off the old blog. It's not that I haven't had anything to say. It's not that I haven't thought about posts. Perhaps I've even written a few DOZEN posts in my head! But life has been been wonderfully, deliciously, amazingly busy around here. My beautiful babies are growing like crazy, now ages 5 1/2, 7 1/2, a week from 9, and 11. Maybe it was reading  a terrific article about being "in the sweet spot" that prompted me to post today. Or maybe it's the fallish breeze blowing through my open windows. Or the fact that half of my herd is off adventuring. Or that the kiddos head back to school in less than five weeks. Whatever the reason, here I am.
This summer has been like no other. I'm still a mom of four busy children. But they are no longer babies. With my youngest being five, we have a new mobility. We were able to see a water ski show and fireworks at Jumpin' Jacks. We were able to go to parks without a diaper bag. We were able to swim without floaties or swim diapers. It's amazing. Of course I miss the baby phase, but I am really enjoying the "people" my children are becoming. They are funny, witty, helpful and smart. They are capable and confident. They keep me honest and humble. Often, they are my mirror...reflecting the good as well as the bad.
I was shopping for school supplies and a few gifts today and stumbled upon a book called, "If I Could Keep You Little..." by Marianne Richmond. I truly burst into tears in the store right then and there. Here are the words to this wonderful tribute to children growing:

If I could keep you little, I’d hum you lullabies. But then I’d miss you singing your concert’s big surprise.

If I could keep you little, I’d hold your hand everywhere. But then I’d miss you knowing, “I can go…you stay there.”

If I could keep you little, I’d kiss your cuts and scrapes. But then I’d miss you learning from your own mistakes.

If I could keep you little, I’d strap you in real tight. But then I’d miss you swinging from your treetop height.

If I could keep you little, I’d decide on matching clothes. But then I’d miss you choosing dots on top and stripes below.

If I could keep you little, I’d cut your bread into shapes. But then I’d miss you finding, “Hey! I like ketchup with my grapes!”

If I could keep you little, I’d tell you stories every night. But then I’d miss you reading the words you’ve learned by sight.

If I could keep you little, I’d pick for you a friend or two. But then I’d miss you finding friends you like who like you, too!

If I could keep you little, I’d push your ducky float. But then I’d miss you feeling the wind behind summer’s boat.

If I could keep you little, we’d nap in our fort midday. But then I’d miss you sharing adventures from camp away.

If I could keep you little, I’d fly you with my feet. But then I’d miss you seeing sky and clouds from your seat.

If I could keep you little, I’d keep you close to me. But then I’d miss you growing into who you’re meant to be!

My goodness how those words capture what my heart is feeling! In just a month, my oldest will enter middle school and my baby will go to kindergarten! How can it be?! Wasn't I just nursing my first, looking out the window as the big yellow bus came to pick up the neighborhood kids?! As I sat there holding my fussy little one, it felt like decades before I would be sending him to school. And now he is 11! "The days are long but the years are short." How true it is.
I don't want to be sad for the time gone by. Instead, I will hold on to the memories while enjoying today. Truly being in the moment with my "little" ones.

On Repeat

Do you ever stumble upon a song you HAVE TO hear OVER and OVER? That happens to me every now and then. A month or so ago, it was "Forever Reign". I sang it at the top of my lungs while driving to pick up my youngest from preschool. I sang it until I cried...the words were (still are) so powerful!
Today I've been listening to a variety of Christmas albums. "Glorious Impossible" (as performed by FFH) really touched me...I think I'm on my 10th repeat of the song (ok, so I found several other arrangements, one done by the Gaither Vocal Band, another by Carl Cartree, the writer of the song). I absolutely LOVE this song!!! Give it a listen, read the lyrics, see if you agree with me...
this is one beautiful song! 

**side note...i just discovered another beautiful arrangement of this song, done by new-to-me duo, The Wiebes...gorgeous!
Here is their arrangement. 

See the Virgin is delivered 
In a cold and crowded stall
Mirror of the Father's glory 
Lies beside her in the straw
 
He is Mercy's incarnation 
Marvel at this miracle! 
For the Virgin gently holds 
The Glorious Impossible
 
Love has come to walk on water 
Turn the water into wine 
Touch the leper,
bless the children 
Love both human and divine
 
Praise the wisdom of the Father 
Who has spoken through His Son 
Speaking still, He calls us to 
The Glorious Impossible
 
Hallelujah 
Hallelujah 
Hallelujah  
Glorious Impossible
 
He was bruised for our transgressions 
And He bears eternal scars 
He was raised for our salvation 
And His righteousness is ours
 
Praise, oh praise Him, praise the glory 
Of this lavish grace so full 
Lift your souls now and receive
the Glorious Impossible!
 
Hallelujah 
Hallelujah 
Hallelujah 
Glorious Impossible
 
Hallelujah 
Hallelujah 
Hallelujah 
Glorious Impossible 
Glorious Impossible
 
Praise, oh praise Him, praise the glory 
Of this lavish grace so full 
Lift your souls now and receive 
The Glorious Impossible
 

a nothing day

Is your schedule jam-packed? Errands, appointments, people to shuttle here and there, endless lists of things to do, groceries to buy, meals to make, laundry to wash/dry/fold/put away, floors to mop, rugs to vacuum, beds to strip and remake, phew! Sounds like my life!!
Well, today was different...we didn't have anywhere we had to be. There was no to-do list. It has been lovely!!
It started with Saturday Sleep-In...whoever sleeps in the latest wins. (What's the prize? I never know...maybe a piece of gum?) Today I was the winner...and my prize was sleeping in itself!!

Everyone just puttered around the house,
kids doing a few job here and there,
hubby played a new video game,
I listened to Christmas music,
hubby and the boys ran a few errands and even got lunch out.
I started to meal-plan but I realized I only have to make a couple dinners this week!
I tried a new turkey chili crockpot recipe (it smells deelish!)
Later I made a ginger sugar cookie recipe I had been wanting to try for weeks (WAY too good...I better give the rest of these away!)
I did a Rev Abs workout (much needed after the cookie fest).
The girls played outside and made paper flowers to tape onto pencils.
I played the piano for awhile.
I did a little knitting.
Now it's almost dinner time and the kids already got themselves into jammies. They have been asking (begging) to watch "Elf" since yesterday afternoon. I stopped counting after the 20th request today. So it looks like we'll be watching "Elf" after dinner!
Gotta love a "nothing day"!

Today

Today...
it was sleeting and freezing early on. later the sun was shining brightly, but there was still a chill in the air.
my youngest asked, "why are they saying it's 'the most wonderful time of the year'?" to which i got to share with him (again) about the true meaning of Christmas. how amazing is it that i get to do this? i get to drive my kiddo to preschool and hear the questions of his little heart!! later in the day, he asked me to turn off the "sad tears song" (that would be "Last Christmas", the Glee version...hahahaha!)
my youngest and i drove to school and waited 15 minutes to see my older daughter, to wish her well before her musical audition. i then hurried back home to beat the bus to greet the other two kids, fed them snack, started them on homework. then we all scooted back to school to get musical audition daughter. no one complained about being carted back and forth.
i caught my older son and my younger daughter reading together...she read her stack of 5 take home readers to him, and he assisted as needed and asked her comprehension questions!
that same older son is on top of the world lately. his teacher loves him...with all his little quirks and stuff that can sometimes drive a teacher crazy, she sees him, she gets him...i am thrilled!! he also proudly informed me that he was "the only kid in class to get 100 on the social studies test!" (um, what test? i don't recall seeing a study guide...or quizzing him?)
my older daughter loves the new $19 hand blender i bought at aldi. she used it as a microphone to sing "Rolling in the Deep". i had to turn away so she didn't see me smiling.
i hear musical instruments playing in the basement. which means the kids got into the storage room, climbed a shelf and took the box of instruments down. perhaps i should go check on them. except that no one is crying. no one is calling me.
so i will sit here munching on my leftover from two nights ago spinach salad, listening to "Unexpected Gifts: 12 New Sounds of Christmas" on spotify.
O tidings of comfort and joy...

Time for Thanks

I was going to do a daily thankful post for the month of November, but I'm not sure I'll get on here every day. But today, I am incredibly thankful I get to be a stay-at-home-mom! Ten and a half years ago, I was just beginning my stay-at-home-mom journey. I was overwhelmed, sleep-deprived, exhausted, weary, and a mess! Of course I loved my new baby...I had prayed for a baby for a LONG time. When I was a child, all I wanted to do was be a mom when I grew up. I had visions of myself in a flowing nightgown smiling serenely as I nursed my little wonder. Um, reality looked more like a screaming newborn, a frazzled unshowered mom in stained sweats struggling to get her newborn to latch on, then trying desperately to keep that newborn awake to finish a feeding, then not moving for an hour while that newborn slept on me. It was a very difficult time! But here we are, ten and a half years later, with three more kiddos. They are now ages 10, 8, almost 7 and 5. And I have such a different perspective than I used to have! I enjoy moments more, I savor the little things. Of course there are still times I am overwhelmed. I don't always get to shower and I certainly am not the epitome of calm, cool and collected!! But making a point to stop and take a mental snapshot of a special moment is a part of my every day. I GET to be here with my babies...I GET to make them lunch, wash their clothes, watch them learn, grow, and explore. And I am so thankful.

Hiatus!

Wow, it's been quite some time since I've updated the old bloggity blog! For those who read my (endless) posts on Facebook, you know what I've been up to...nothing earth-shattering. Just the usual: a summer full of swimming and fun, kids healthy and growing, now onto fall fun, school stuff, Christmas gift-making, recipe-hunting and enjoying life as it speeds on by.
Today is Halloween (a "holiday" I loathe), but we have a Giants football fan, Hermione (of the Harry Potter series), a black cat, and a brave knight all eager for Trunk or Treat at church tonight. I've already exceeded my candy quota! But I am looking forward to turning the calendar tomorrow. November is such a great month for counting blessings, trying new recipes, baking, burning candles, crafting and just enjoying family time. I'll try to be a little more faithful with my blog updates, but no guarantees!

Grocery Shopping Online with (ahem) Free Delivery

Lately, all I've been hearing about is a local grocery store that offers FREE delivery!! Friends are raving about it...
the time they save,
the money they save,
 how they feel so waited on,
so pampered,
so blah blah blah!!!!!!!!
Last night, I decided I would finally give it a try. Don't you think I would have been excited? Pleased? Delighted? Well, sorry, no...I was totally stressed out, to the point of my stomach hurting! Why? Several reasons I can think of: I like to SEE, FEEL, TOUCH my groceries. Controlling? Yep. So I've been told. But I really don't mind grocery shopping, especially since my children are older and I usually only take one or two at a time to help me shop. Another reason I wasn't totally comfortable: sometimes what I see in the store reminds me of something I need to buy. Sometimes I like to compare products, whether it's ingredients or nutrition information or price. Call me crazy, but I LOVE wandering around the wide clean aisles in Hannaford. It's pleasing to my eye to see the beautiful produce section.
 Ok, moving on...so I finally got up the nerve and created an account online so I could do my online shopping. I clicked away, nervously hoping I could delete items if I selected incorrectly or changed my mind. I checked and double checked and after about an hour, I was ready to check out. That's when it got a little squirrely...although sale prices were showing correctly, my shopper club card savings were not being reflected. I logged out and in and out and in. I called customer service (which evidently closes at 9pm, and it was midnight). I checked the FAQs and clicked "help" and still had no answers. Finally I decided I better just place my order or I wouldn't receive it in time to make Monday night's dinner! I admit, I tossed and turned for awhile before I fell asleep...evidently I was a tad keyed up!
Today I glanced at the clock over and over...delivery was scheduled between 1-3pm. About 11:30 I received a call..."sorry, we don't have the ginger root or the jalapeno pepper." What??? How does a large grocery store not carry these items?? (Thursday's dinner requires the jalapenos, so it looks like I'll be hitting another grocery store before then! And tonight's dinner sufficed with ground ginger instead of fresh grated ginger root.)
Well, delivery time arrived and there was my order, carried right into my foyer, double bagged with paper inside/plastic outside! All I had to do was hand over my credit card and sign the receipt...but I was still wondering about the shopper club discount and there wasn't time to sit down and total everything...I got so flustered I forgot to give the deliveryman my $20 off coupon!!! (Oh, he was polite and everything was just fine with the order.) After the deliveryman left, I went through the whole order, looked at the prices from the list I had printed and compared it to the receipt. The totals were similar, but I was confused as to why the total I paid wasn't lower (with the shopper club discounts.) I decided to call customer service and got some answers: if you join the shopper club online, a card will come in the mail. When you order online, regular sales will show up, but shopper club sales won't show until the items are delivered (they are shown in bold on the receipt.) One other item I hadn't thought about: the price given online when you place the order COULD vary, if, for instance, the meat they select for you weighs more or less than what you ordered (the london broil was a tad lighter than what I ordered; the oven stuffer was slightly larger; and the lobster was the biggest difference, which did change my total.) This makes sense because they don't have everything prepackaged to a uniform weight. One more note: the delivery fee of $6.95 is waived on orders $100 or more. And coupons are to be given to the delivery person and then your account is credited back at the store. So, what do I think now? Would I do this again? Yes, I will try this again. I think it will be easier next time, now that I know what to expect and I understand the process better.
Tips to keep in mind:
1) they may not have everything on your list (they will call, but not everything has a substitution)
 2) order $100 or more to get free delivery
 3) shopper club discounts will show up on the delivery receipt but not online
 4) meats and other weighed items may vary (causing your total to be slightly higher or lower)
 5) have your coupons ready...they will not accept them by phone afterwards (boo!)
 6) it doesn't have to be as complicated as I made it :)

a few other items i'm adding...
1) i usually shop at Aldi first, then hit Hannaford for those harder-to-find items, and for large purchases of meat - Fred the Butcher (10 pound bags of chicken breasts, ground beef, etc)
 2) if i were physically restricted, if my kids or i were sick, if i had little babies, or if the weather were poor, then i would definitely use the home delivery service all the time!

I Get To...

I'm treasuring life...sitting outside, I had these thoughts.
I get to sit here in my yard on this gorgeous sunny day.
I get to watch my sweet little boy blow dandelion seed puffs around the yard.
I get to watch him enjoy his ice pop.
I get to watch his blonde hair get tossed gently by the wind.
I get to cheer for him as he plays "volley-vall" with a ball in the yard.
I get to smooch his sweaty head and his sun-kissed cheeks.
Truly treasuring these moments!

Good Life, Mopping and Early America

So there I was, mopping my kitchen floor, not thinking about much at all. Suddenly "Good Life" by OneRepublic came on Pandora. And I was filled with thanksgiving!!! I looked around and started counting the blessings abounding all around me: I have a house, with floors. I have a family who can make messes. I have a mop and bucket and soap and hot water. I have a body able to scrub and clean. I have so much more than I can even name!!! And then I thought about the book I've been reading, "An Untamed Land" by Lauraine Snelling...about early settlers who came from Norway to the Dakota Territory...the way they lived in a covered wagon until their sod house was built, the way they had to hunt for food, not sure if they would survive the winter. Oh my goodness, do we have the "Good Life" or what?!! Mopping my kitchen floor never felt so good!

"Oh, this has gotta be the good life, this has gotta be the good life, this could really be a good life, good life...
please tell me what there is to complain about" - OneRepublic

Kids are saying...

Six year old daughter, to me, in the kitchen today: "Oooh, nice outfit, Mom!" I wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic...it was also the first time I had ever worn a "slimming tank" under a shirt...so I tilted my head and said, "You like this?" She replied, "Yes! When you outgrow it, I can have it, right?"

Ten year old son to me on his birthday: "This devotional is great! The first part was all about controlling your tongue." (Knock me over with a feather! SOOOO glad I picked up the devotional when I was at the Christian Bookstore a few weeks ago!!!)

Seven and a half year old daughter to me when I came to observe her music class during Music in our School Week: "Oh, Mama! I'm so glad you're here!!! Come dance with me!" (Melt. My. Heart!)

Four and a half year old son to me just now: "Don't worry about me, Mom. When I die, I'll be with you and Jesus. CAH (big sister) and I said some prayers together." Me, stunned: "Oh, really? That's great, buddy! So you asked Jesus to come into your heart and save you?" N: "Um, that's how you get to live with Jesus forever!"

Pressing Pause

If I could, I would press "PAUSE" right now! Actually, this afternoon was truly the perfect pause moment:
my older three kiddos were at school, my youngest was playing happily in the sandbox, the temperature was near 80 degrees (yes, it's March in upstate New York!), there was not a cloud to be found, there was the gentlest of breezes, i had Pandora playing in the family room with the volume turned way up...The Story by Brandi Carlisle station was on, playing songs like Almost Lover, Hallelujah, Chasing Pavements, and Falling Slowly, and i was sipping the most delicious iced coffee.
i had more "pause" moments this evening...every scrap of chicken divan was devoured at dinner, my girls put on a poetry reading "show" for us after dinner, and my almost 10-year-old and i enjoyed some classic Relient K together.
Savoring every moment...

they know i'm a sap!

oh my kiddos know me so well...
today, my oldest announced he would be interviewing me over the school break for a special writing project for school. i, of course, burst into tears, telling him i was honored he would pick me. he rolled his eyes, sighed, and shook his head.

just now, while watching the "creepy" version (Jim Carrey) of "The Grinch," a sweet and touching song came on, with a little child singing. my youngest immediately stated, "mom, cover your ears! right away! i don't want you crying over this song!!" to which my 7 year old responded, "but mom likes to cry, that's why she watches sad movies and listens to sad songs."

Hahahaha!

music & brownie bites, barbie, Bible verses & surprises

I know, I know, I promised to write an update on the Hill Happenings, but it's been so very busy around here!
Quick little blurb about recent stuff:
- i discovered the charlotte's web soundtrack today and i love it.
- i'm currently obsessed with the old hymn, "there is a fountain" (which is how i found the charlotte's web soundtrack: pandora "if i stand/rich mullins" station played "there is a fountain" performed by athena; i then searched spotify and listened to about 30 versions of "there is a fountain" which is included on the charlotte's web soundtrack)
- the kids and i are loving the "roaring like a lion" song by the newsboys...we crank it up in the van and sing at the top of our lungs.
- i knit 3 baby hats for knit pray love (via air1 radio station...the hats will go to babies in Afghanistan); my kids were so interested in the whole idea and my youngest thought we were going to bring one of the babies home to live with us! (maybe one day???)
- i just played "fun mom" and tried to make brownie bites with cream cheese frosting and strawberries for the kids for a valentine's day treat. but the brownie bites are more like brownie bits, as they did not easily pop out of the mini muffin tin!
- my 6 yr old's current movie obsession = barbie fairy secret, currently ours for the week from the library
- i'm still 2/3 of the way through fellowship of the ring...kind of pausing for the moment as i read a book about having "THE talk" with the kids...yes, our oldest is about to turn 10 and we've never had THE talk. according to the book i'm reading, we should have had some sort of talk with ALL the kids by now! yikes!!
- my favorite moment from the last week: my 7 year old and my 4 year old playing Sunday School together, looking up Bible verses, writing them in a notebook and reading them out loud!!
- most surprising moment: my oldest unpacking groceries today, without me asking or hinting in any way...i just turned around and he was putting things away!
- another pleasant surprise was watching all 4 kids scarf down dinner tonight, including quinoa and penang chicken!! my 6 year old was literally dipping her chicken in the leftover sauce, and would have licked the plate if i let her!

Checking In

It's been a little quiet over here...what that means is my life outside of blog-land is busy. All great stuff, just busy. So I thought I'd check in and look at the list I made a month ago, and see how things are going:

1) Yell less. Hmm, I think this depends on the day. I am trying though!
2) Live the adage "if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all." I think I'm doing better with this overall.
3) Get back to my weight watchers lifetime goal weight. AND MAINTAIN IT. ALL YEAR LONG. Actually, maintain it FOREVER! Did GREAT in January! Lost 6.6 pounds and 8 inches! Definitely want to keep going with this.
4) Finish the TurboFire program. Still going strong...loving the program!
5) When TurboFire is done, start another exercise plan and stick with it faithfully. Not done yet.
6) Continue trying to get out and run 3 miles, 3 times a week. Got out Friday and Sunday this past week...felt WONDERFUL!
7) Stick with the Women's Study on James (and complete level 4.) Sticking with it...and loving it!
8) Drink 8 glasses of water a day, minimum. Did well all month, then slacked the past week. A friend and I challenged one another to drink 80 ounces today and I've passed my goal!
9) Blog at least weekly. Whoops! ;)
10) Be aware of the quality moments with my family...and cherish them! Definitely! To the point where a few people have commented on the way I treasure the little things. :)
11) Meet friends for coffee more often. A couple last month, a couple more planned for this month.
12) Continue fun dates with my husband. One coming up this Saturday!
13) Model and foster the fruit of the Spirit in my children. Hmmm, we've been talking more about the Fruit and I think we're all more conscious of bearing Fruit.
14) Continue to play the piano and sing often. Perhaps rejoin the Worship Team?! Playing and singing often, played for an hour yesterday...and praying about Worship Team, talked with two pastors about it.
15) Learn to sew better...and sew projects, starting with making us fabric napkins to use at dinner each night. Boo! Didn't start the napkins yet! But I did knit 2 baby gifts, 3 hats for Knit Pray Love and am finishing a pair of socks. I WILL do the napkins next!!
16) Be braver trying new crafts...make the Jenna DeAngeles Antique Paper Wreath by Christmas, and make another yarn-wrapped wreath before Easter. I did purchase the materials to make a yarn-wrapped wreath for Valentine's Day...I started one night but got side-tracked by kiddos making Valentine cards!

Overall, I think things are going well...I have a blog update in the works about recent happenings with the kiddos.

Tea Party: pretty doesn't have to mean pricey!

My girls have been enjoying little tea parties with my mom...they get to use pretty tea cups and add their own milk and sugar. They snack on shortbread cookies or "crumpets." It's a wonderful memory I know they will always treasure. So when my younger daughter asked for a tea party-themed 6th birthday party, I was not surprised, and I was quite delighted! Right away, I began looking up ideas online. A few friends suggested visiting the pinterest website, so I made my way over...and after about three hours, my head was spinning and I was completely overwhelmed! I can knit and cross-stitch, but I am not otherwise creative or crafty. I saw many gorgeous professionally-taken photos of extravagant tea parties. One was for a one-year-old, and I am guessing at least $5000 was shelled out for cakes, favors, decorations, other food and exquisite photos. Lovely, but I'm sorry, I can't afford something like that! So I went back to my list of ideas and decided that would have to do. Especially since my daughter's list included 13 girls! So here is the story of our tea party:
We made our own invitations by googling teapot clip art, printing a picture of a teapot, tracing it on pastel colored heavy paper, and cutting each one out.
I typed the party info in a pretty font and printed it on white paper, used krinkle cut scissors to give a pretty edge, and glued the info to the middle of the teapot. Finally, we made little tea bag tags with additional information (wear gloves & dress up jewelry, bring a doll, etc) and attached the tag to the teapot with a piece of string. Since the invitations were rather large, we hand-delivered the them to each guest. All but one guest RSVP'd with a YES and they all commented on the cute invitations (which, by the way, my 6 and 7 year old daughters traced and glued on their own...I helped with a little cutting, but otherwise, the girls were responsible for these.)


For decorations, I found a pink and silver garland to hang across the dining room entranceway...$1 at a local dollar store. My biggest "splurge" was on balloons...$12 for 3 mylar and 4 pink latex balloons, and I realize now that 2 pink latex outside and 1 mylar inside would have been plenty!) I used a good white table cloth on the dining room table and another white linen cloth on a card table (set up touching the dining room table, to accommodate all the guests.)




I used crystal and silver and china: candle stick holders, plates and platters, figurines, etc. (My girls had fun helping me set up, even participating in polishing the silver.) I found a pink hyacinth and a pink tulip for $3 each. We made our own placecards. I set a little decorative coffee table with doilies and teacups. We went to the Salvation Army and found old white glass cups with handles, 5 for 99 cents!!




As the girls arrived, we took the coats and set them on the stairs ("preventing" escapees from going upstairs to play during the party). Gifts went on the piano bench in the living room, and the girls and their dolls were invited to the family room to color (classical Baroque music playing in the background.) We had printed four different types of tea party themed coloring pages for the girls and put them in a basket with crayons. This kept the girls busy while waiting for the other guests to arrive.

Once everyone arrived, we made sure each guest was introduced to one another and they made their own treat bags: paper bag, paper doily, glue, markers. Fold a doily in half, lay it over the edge of the bag and glue. Use markers to write name and decorate.

Next, they made paper fans: construction paper, doily, glue, scissors, 1/2 a pipe cleaner. Cut doily in half lay on paper at an angle with points touching top edge and glue down. Fan fold. Pinch end without doily and use 1/2 pipe cleaner piece to secure. Note: only 5 of the girls could make these on their own, the others needed help.

Next, we played "pin the crown on the princess" game...$1 at the dollar store. It came with the gameboard, 12 crowns, and a blindfold. All I needed was tape! They loved the game and insisted that I take a turn.

Next, I we sat in a circle on the floor and I read them "Miss Spider's Tea Party" by David Kirk. They were a wonderful audience and listened attentively. When the book was done, I used a very quiet voice to set the tone/mood before we headed into the dining room...this was a fancy, elegant party. We are all lovely ladies. I told them about some of the pieces on the dining room table, that they had belonged to my grandmothers and great-grandmothers. The girls were intrigued and couldn't wait to start the tea party!
I led the way to the dining room and had the girls find their placecard. They sat down and I explained that they could take home their own teacup, their placecard, the necklace, umbrella, star wand and napkin ring (a costume jewelry ring). Note: necklaces were 6 for $1, umbrellas 24 for $1, wands 12 for $1 and rings 8 for $1 all at the dollar store!!!

I showed them how to "steep" the tea...I showed them the teabags and the empty teapots. I filled the teapots with boiling water and they peeked at the water as it changed color as the tea steeped. We passed around a tray of fruit kabobs (my girls made these ahead with grapes, watermelon pieces and strawberries),


chocolate and pink marshmallow cookies ($1 for a box at the dollar store), pink sugar wafers, shortbread cookies (again $1 a box at the dollar store)...I arranged these on doilies on silver trays to look pretty. We also had pretzel rods which my girls had dipped in melted white chocolate and swirled in colorful sprinkles and "mousse" which was chocolate pudding we made and put into plastic parfait cups (I think these were $1 for a 5-pack at the dollar store). I gave the girls the option of whipped cream on top.



Then we poured the tea and the girls passed around two little creamer and sugar sets, one china and one silver.
We used sugar cubes to be extra fancy and the girls loved them! I also had a glass pitcher of apple juice for those who didn't care for tea.



Finally, I brought out a glass platter of mini heart-shaped cakes...I had made white single-layer cakes, frosted them with light pink frosting, decorated with a little layer of sugar sprinkles and then used a heart-shaped cookie cutter to cut 13 mini cakes. I put a candle in one and we sang happy birthday to my daughter. The girls oohed and ahhed over the little cakes (*idea taken from American Girl restaurant.)

As the girls finished eating, I brought them their treat bags to collect their goodies. I rinsed and dried their teacups for them. Then they went to the basement to play for the last 7 minutes or so of the party.
My daughters said they had a lot of fun, and many of the guests made sweet comments during the party, from "This is the BEST tea party ever!" to "You have the loveliest house!"

I know it is a party my girls will always remember...and so will I! And I think my husband's favorite part is it cost $50 or less!!